Christmas has become the big holiday among Christians. Reflective of the culture at large, we build up to it with advent wreaths, special "hanging of the greens" services, cantatas, etc. Unfortunately, Easter in many evangelical churches is ignored until Palm Sunday and sometimes until Easter Sunday arrives. Easter is the "Superbowl" of the Christian calendar yet we treat it as footnote. So, here are a few ideas of ways to make Easter a bigger deal in your home. As I say at the end, there are many ways to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ. The biggest problem among evangelical Christians is that we are not celebrating at all. We are missing the party! Here are some ideas...
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Our children are little angels... fallen angels! All kidding aside it is interesting that we don't have to teach our children how to lie. They figure that out on their own. Disobedience comes pretty natural too. One recent pattern in one of our sons has been to respond to our commands or assignments with, "But Dad..." It's not just an occasional response, but has grown to be the typical response. It's a form of disobedience. This pattern has taught me a thing or two about my own disobedience in light of the coming celebration of Resurrection Day. The lies. The manipulation. The cheating. The defiance that says, "I don't care what the consequences are, I'm gonna do it anyway!" It is easy to become very fearful as a parent when you see these attitudes and choices in your child. It floods your mind with future criminal trials, drugs, teen pregnancy, violence, etc. As a former law enforcement officer, it probably stirs fears deeper for me than it may for others. These attitudes and choices were present in every criminal I ever arrested. Even in counseling others, these same attitudes and choices lie behind much of the struggles people face. Fear is an easy emotion as a parent. I have a dream for my kids. I hope they grow up to be cheaters. Or maybe they can achieve new heights in manipulation and selfishness. Or maybe they will truly fulfill my dream and have explosive anger or life-controlling addictions! Obviously, these are NOT the dreams I have for my kids, nor is it the dream of any sane parent. Yet, why do so many of us live as if these are the dreams we have for ourselves? I am preparing to lead a group at church through Chip Ingram's R12 material. Chip begins by connecting the idea that parents have dreams for their kids. Likewise, our Father in heaven has a dream for us. God's dream is not that we be cheaters, adulterers, gossips, manipulative, and self-focused. His dream is completely different... Grief is a thief. It comes when you least expect it. It takes you off guard. Why did it slink in today? Why during car line at the school when I'm about to pick up the kids? There was no thought or memory that triggered it. It wasn't a song on the radio or something I saw. Suddenly, I was grieving over Macayla. I miss her so much. Why then? God had a reason today. One of our twins was struggling. I could tell there was a lot of anger just waiting to boil over. I decided to press and see what was driving it. In the process, we had a God-sighting... Macayla's First Christmas This is our first Christmas with the twins and as I thought of that, I simultaneously realized this is our third Christmas without Macayla. It brought back memories that make me smile and tear up at the same time. Just as we are walking through old memories as we create new ones with our son and twins. This made me go back and look at our Old Blog we started in the summer of 2006. It seems like forever ago and just like yesterday. In 2008, I also started a parallel blog called Uncommon Needs to talk shop about devices, meds, equipment, etc. for special needs. Time flies! There are many families that need prayer right now as well as a helping hand. I hope to give both. There are families who are missing loved ones, and this may be their first Christmas without them. For me, the holidays weren't as hard as I expected the first year, but the second year was tougher. But grief doesn't care if it is Christmas or some random Tuesday; it comes when it comes. Children are God's gift to us and we should cherish them. They only live with us for the first quarter of their lives (if they live 80 years). So time flies and we need to enjoy these moments while we have them, never taking them for granted. Celebrating our loved ones more than the stuff makes the memories last. Celebrating the One for which Christmas was named more than the stuff transforms our holiday back into a holy day. Photo: Jeremy Bathan You teach your child how to do a basic task like brush his teeth, wash his hair, or turn the light off as he leaves a room. Yet, he doesn't seem to get it. The task is either ignored or done improperly almost every time. You teach him to stop lying or being defiant over the simplest of issues, but he continues. Month after month and still there is little, if any, progress. Why? There are several possibilities and we are learning about them. There can be anatomical problems in the brain that prohibit or frustrates learning. In our case, we have no idea with our adopted children what kind, if any, damage may have occurred due to in utero exposure to drugs or alcohol. If there was any, it appears to be very mild. Another possibility would be a learning disability or learning style issue. I put these together since their definition is often disputed or misapplied and identifying them is not always clear-cut. Then, there is also the matter of trust and selfishness. This leads to, and simultaneously feeds on, anxiety and obsessive/compulsive behavior. I have spoken with several couples or hear of couples whose marriages are falling apart. It is common in our culture and even more so among families with special-needs children. They separate or get divorced and often point to the stresses of the special-needs as the source of their failing marriage. I disagree. We cannot blame special-needs, finances, or "falling out of love" with our spouse for divorce. Here is why I say this... Raising children is about transformation. Children transform physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We can list these areas out separately as a way to talk about them, but they all are intertwined. The child as a whole person transforms. "Regular" kids, special-needs kids, and adopted kids all go through this and along the way it transforms the parents as well. Having a special-needs daughter made us prioritize life differently than we would have otherwise. We believe this impacted Jacob, our "regular" kid, for the positive. Likewise, our adopted twins highlight the same need to prioritize life but in different ways. God is using this to shape our family as well. Honest Abe One of the challenges we have had with the twins adjusting to their new home has been the issue of food. Fortunately, we don't have to worry about the hoarding food as some adopted children have learned to do. We don't have to struggle with severe food allergies. We struggle with honesty. From the beginning, we expected that they might try to say what they thought we wanted to hear. We expected them to try to fit in as best they could, even if it meant not being honest. It's kind of like the kids who come over for a sleepover and politely eat the dinner and say they enjoyed it, even though it was something vile like brussels sprouts. In our case, we don't eat brussels sprouts and this sleepover is permanent. We attempted to protect the twins from the problem of lying to try to please... |
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