As is often the case with grief, it is quite sneaky and can be the unexpected and unwelcome visitor. While getting something out of the cupboard, I caught a glimpse of the mortar and pedestal we used to crush Macayla’s meds. Later in the day, I saw a black Dodge hightop conversion van in front of Lowe’s and wished I was still driving ours, because it would mean Macayla was still with us. Then we had pasta for dinner and all I could think about is Macayla’s love for noodles. They were just memories, but for some reason these were not the kind that bring sweet sentiment. They brought fresh pain. But it was a cathartic morning at church. Macayla’s class at church gave us an amazing gift. They made a little butterfly tree. Each butterfly was made of clay, painted and had each classmate’s name on them. It was great and so amazing these girls still think of Macayla. They so often sent Macayla cards and letters to brighten her room. We are so, so thankful for their continued love and prayers.
Then, in the service, a friend of ours sang a solo that reminded me of where Macayla is. The song was Chris Rice’s Come to Jesus. Our friend, Clint, sang it flawlessly and as the lyrics unfolded, I couldn’t help but think of our journey and Macayla: Weak and wounded sinner Lost and left to die O, raise your head, for love is passing by Come to Jesus Come to Jesus Come to Jesus and live! Now your burden's lifted And carried far away And precious blood has washed away the stain, so Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus and live! And like a newborn baby Don't be afraid to crawl And remember when you walk Sometimes we fall...so Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus and live! Sometimes the way is lonely And steep and filled with pain So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus and live! O, and when the love spills over And music fills the night And when you can't contain your joy inside, then Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus and live! And with your final heartbeat Kiss the world goodbye Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus and live! I know Macayla is on the other side of Glory, smiling, laughing, and dancing. She is in perfect peace because she’s in the presence of the Prince of peace. Just like the butterflies on her tree, she has been transformed. It is a transformation that awaits all who belong to Christ. Weak and wounded sinners can be transformed by the precious blood of Christ. This makes all the difference. We are left behind for now and we grieve...but we grieve with hope!
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AuthorJeff Smoak Archives
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